School Ties

I have a confession to make. I haven't been the best example for my children. I quit high school at the end of my junior year and home schooled my senior year. I never felt that I fit in anywhere in school. But I also never made the effort to fit in. I had a handful of friends in all of the high school cliques but I never made any long lasting friendships the way my husband did. That is something I have always been jealous of.

I could have breakfast with the Misfits, lunch with the Thespians, hang out after school with the Musicians and the Stoners, get on the bus with the Nerds and then spend my weekends with kids that didn't even go to my school. It only took one bad relationship to teach me to never date boys that went to the same school I did. The reasons I left school are much too complicated to explain in black and white, and I don't regret the decision, but it has led to some lonely times as an adult.

I don't have any high school reunions to look forward to. In fact, I look forward to my husband's high school reunions. What can I say? I live vicariously through his time tested friendships. I did recently get invited to my Thespian Troupe's reunion. We were the first Thespian Troupe in our school because we went to a new high school. We set a lot of the ground rules. I guess it was kind of a big deal now that I think of it. But I was actually surprised to get the invite.

It was the only society I ever joined, until college anyway. At that time, theater was all I ever wanted to do. It was all any of us ever wanted to do. It was the common bond that joined us all together. Actors, costumers, stage managers, directors, lighting technicians, sound artists... But I didn't participate very much on my high school stage. When I was younger, before high school, I had gotten involved in local community theaters and had formed deep bonds with the people there. That was where my friends were. That was where my heart was. That was where my passion was. That was where I wanted to be. And that was where I stayed for nearly 20 years. I'd still be there today had it not been for my stroke in 2010.

Now I am invited to this reunion. I feel a little hypocritical going because I didn't contribute anything to my Thespian Troupe. I thought about not going at all. I don't have anything to show to anyone. I don't feel that I made anything of myself. I didn't form any long lasting friendships with anyone. But I want to see these people. They still mean something to me. The best part about theater is that they welcome everyone and for the most part, they welcomed me.

Who cares if we didn't all become famous? Who cares if we all gained some weight (well I did)? I'm sure none of us are where we thought we would be when we left high school. It'll be fun to see what happened to everyone. Where we all went and how we all got there. Who knows? Maybe I'll get some ideas for a new script. After all these years, I still can't stay away from theater, even though now I'm a struggling (very struggling) playwright.

Maybe I am capable of committing to something. Script writing may be slow going, but I have been making progress. So maybe I'm not such a bad example after all. All I know is, I made the right decision at the right time. But I will do everything I can to keep my kids in school. There were things that made life unbearable at 17, but I often wonder how life would have been different if I had stuck it out just one more year. I'm going to go to that reunion. And I am going to have a great time. And I'm going to come home and tell my kids all about it. (Well, the PG parts of it, anyway.) Because it's the only part of high school I can still be proud to be a part of.