I recently started receiving Facebook friend requests from my children's friends. This is uncharted territory for my husband and me. We haven't even allowed our own children to open their own social media accounts and yet we are now receiving friend requests from what are basically little kids. This is the time for us to form a united front. What are we to do in order to protect our privacy and the feelings of our children's friends?
I have to take a stand when it comes to subjecting innocents, at least those I have not raised, to some of the frenzied debates that we start that can get a bit... colorful and ....rowdy and....bawdy on our chosen platforms. I cannot in good conscience have a new generation getting a lesson in politics, history, current events, vocabulary, ethics, work place etiquette, musical tastes (although that might be an improvement), or how to deal with nosy neighbors, bad bosses, lousy in-laws, crazy kids, wanton women, horny husbands, raucous roommates, video game vigilantes, pandering partners, insulting instigators, liars, cheaters, and life in general from a generation that actually had to work hard for their money. Those lessons are reserved for my children's ears alone and they have to earn them through the blood, sweat and tears they shed when we are lecturing them endlessly after they screw up.
Our children are already all too well acquainted with our foul mouths, quirky brand of humor and (my) sharp temper. All things that could be taken out of context by a minor. Especially those that only know us peripherally. Thus we have made the decision not to accept friend requests from any of our kid's friends.
Too many things could go wrong. My husband and I could share an opinion that varies greatly with the ideologies of their friend's family. We do our best to be open and explain all viewpoints to our children while still holding firm to our own beliefs and opinions, but we also recognize that not everyone is this way. I would hate for something I say to be held against my children.
Secondly, this stage of their friendships, in all likelihood, won't stand the test of time. I don't want to be caught in the center of Middle School Friendship Wars. I never played those games as a child and I won't play them now either.
Finally, as much as I love my children's friends, I don't know that it is entirely appropriate for us to be associated with them on social media. First of all, we are adults and therefore we are expected to set a certain example. But we are human, and we aren't always going to be at our best when conversing with our friends on Facebook or tweeting back and forth on Twitter. The facade drops, our language gets more casual (I for one have one heck of a potty mouth), and we are more apt to say what is truly on our minds. Now compare that to how you would talk to your kid's friends. Get the picture? Not such a sterling example anymore, are you?
That's not to say I don't have any minors on my Facebook feed. But they are related to me. And I love them and they love me unconditionally. Or at least they do a pretty good job at pretending not to be ashamed of me come Christmas time.
To all the minors out there, I want you to get to know me. But I want the image you have in your mind to be the cool, fun mom you met and not the foul-mouthed, obnoxious lady on Facebook.
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