The Art of Bribery

Summer is a time when the kids are home from school and have all the free time in the world. It's a time for them to use their imaginations and create new games and express their ideas. They can play outdoors all day and well into the evening thanks to the extended hours and warm temperatures. They can visit with friends, go biking, go to the park, the pool, or the neighborhood witch's house. All of which they complete within the first three days of summer vacation. Then the boredom sets in.

It is in this that I envy parents who work outside the home. My day begins with a new show my girls have discovered. Perhaps you remember it. Full House. Yes, my morning cup of coffee wouldn't be complete without Bob Saget giving me lessons in life, John Stamos flipping his hair, and Dave Coulier doing every cartoon voice I can think of from the last 50 years. I suppose now I know how my parents felt when I made them watch it when it was brand new. However, I have new memories attached to some of the players of Full House. I can't help but giggle at Saget's very G rated dad when I've seen his stand up. It's filthy, but hilarious. There was also Mary-Kate Olsen's short stint on Weeds where she played the pot smoking girlfriend of Silas Botwin.

So instead of sitting around and watching reruns all day, I have resorted to bribery. I can be a very evil mommy when my sanity is at stake. The summer activities they were taking for granted have now become a hot commodity.

What's that you say? You want to watch Full House? I'll let you watch two episodes if you clean the living room. You want to go outside and play with your friends? (A double sanity saver because now the kids are outside and not making a mess in the house) I need you to clean your bedroom. I have also have a tidy dining room, kitchen and bathrooms in exchange for video games, movies, and having friends over. Their laundry gets put away in exchange for dessert. And the parenting books all say not to bribe your kids. How do you think I got through toilet training? I was sneaky with that one, though. I got "special soap" you could only use if you went potty.

Bribing my kids has been pretty easy. Plus, if you don't do the chore, you don't get the reward. Period. End of story.

Don't judge me.