Tuesday, July 9, 2013

The Friend Zone

I'm sure all of us had friends that our parents didn't approve of for one reason or another. Be it their long hair, surly attitude, secretive ways or lack of volume control, there was always a reason to find fault with our friends. Of course I never understood any of this as an adolescent. As an adult, however....

My kids' friends can be so annoying. Not only do they not have an instant understanding of our house rules, but the things they do make me wonder if they are even raised in a house. Here are 10 simple and I think very logical rules to follow:

#1. My House is NOT a Restaurant (unless you want to pay me)
I love to cook and I am happy to report that my kids love what I make. Yes, my children can be somewhat to blame by offering their friends snacks, but do not take advantage of a host's kindness and raid the fridge. Additionally, a simple "May I have a drink?" goes a lot further than helping yourself to whatever you can find in my kitchen. I am happy to pop popcorn for movies and provide glasses of water or kool-aid, but let's refrain from getting sugared up on cokes and candy while you're running amok through my home.

#2. Knock Before You Enter
This goes for all people that are not personal close friends of my husband and I. Our family and a select few of our friends have the privilege of making our house their home. They know who they are without question. I can tell you right now that if you have yet to go through puberty, you had best knock and wait for an answer before entering my domicile. 

#3. If you Break Something, Fess Up
Look, I have three kids, a dog, an elderly mother in law and a clumsy husband. I don't have much valuable in my house so chances are if you break something, I probably got it at a discount or second hand. Just tell me. I'm not going to freak out about it unless it was something that was in my bedroom or in the china cabinet where you weren't supposed to be anyway.  

#4. Remember Your Place
I know that there are many types of personalities in this world and I am not the kind of mom to stifle my own kids' quirks, be it bossiness, creativity, or surliness. Within reason, of course. But you're not my kid. I try to teach the art of compromise in my home. It's the best way I have to deal with all the strong personalities I have growing and developing and teach then how to deal with each other. Either take turns or play separately. If you can't deal with that, feel free to go home. How's that for compromise?

#5. Please and Thank You
Am I the only parent that still teaches those little words? Likewise, I hope my children remember their manners when they are in other people's homes...

#6. If You're Bored Then You're Boring
I try not to let my kids play video games, watch movies or tv, or scour the internet for hours on end. They don't own any handheld devices or cell phones. They do have little iPod shuffles and headphones, but nothing fancy. I like to make them go outside and play. In fact we have a lot of outdoors toys. If it's raining or too hot, I make them use this thing called an 'imagination'. So if you come over, expect to get some exercise be it physically or mentally. I admit, there are times I could try harder and have some organized activities ready for just this scenario, but I'm not the one who's bored.  

#7. Use Your Technology Responsibly
I know kids these days (that made me sound old) have fancier phones than I do, but I still expect them to use them responsibly when they're in my house. My youngest child is seven and is more easily susceptible to nightmares than my other two. We are big movie buffs and tend to watch a variety of horror films quite frequently. The rule in our house is that if you feel it is too scary, you are free to excuse yourself. But if you watch it, watch it at your own risk. Recently, my youngest has been having nightmares, claiming to be afraid of the dark and refusing to even go to the bathroom alone. We couldn't figure out why because she hadn't been watching any 'scary' movies with us. It turns out that she was watching scary movies clips on YouTube on a friend's phone. What an eight year needs with that technology, I will never know. So now I have to monitor not only my kids' internet activity but their friends as well so I don't have anymore wake up calls at 4:30 in the morning.

#8. Don't Invite Yourself to Spend the Night
I don't mind sleepovers. I like having a bunch of kids camping out in the living room, watching movies and making memories. However, chances are, if you had to invite yourself, I didn't want you there to begin with.

#9. Talk to Me
I am not a big hairy monster that's going to tell all the kids at school that embarrassing thing you did at my house. That's my kids' job. Just talk to me. Nothing bothers me more than a kid that doesn't speak up. I don't know whether you're shy or shady. It's best not to give me a reason not to trust you. 

#10. If You're Not Allowed to at You're House...
If you're not allowed to do it at you're house, chances are you can't do it at mine. This includes, but is not limited to, jumping on the bed, yelling, screaming, roughhousing, running, ruining dinner, eating tons of junk food, being rude or bossy, terrorizing the dog, hogging the game controls, talking back, or leaving a mess for yours truly to clean up.

If you follow these simple rules, your kid will have a great time over here. I love letting my girls do crafts and bake cupcakes. My son and his friends have all sorts of zombie apocalypse games that they have made up to play outside. I like taking the kids to the neighborhood pool and to the library. They can go to the park or wash the car or their bikes. We have more games than I can name or have storage for. I'm not stingy when it comes to video games, movies or tv. I just try to make sure that everyone agrees on what is played. And of course the house has to be presentable before we have company. After all, Mommy has to get something out of the deal. 

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