A Second Open Letter to my HOA

Dear Settler's Village HOA,

I wrote to you last year thanking you for the superb work going on at the neighborhood pool. You must have gotten the message because you decided to extend the construction late into this year as well. By now, I know that we are going to be getting a brand new pool, but you pulled out all the stops and surprised us all by tearing down the existing clubhouse, filling in the old pool and chopping down many of those offensive shade trees.

That old clubhouse must have been completely in the wrong place, as well structurally unsound. Not only did JR. D Construction completely remove any sign of the old one, they built a brand new one in a totally different location, requiring all brand new plumbing to be run and the need to cut down some of those pesky shade trees. I'm sure they would have fallen down eventually anyway in the next category 4 hurricane. And since we'll be spending all our time swimming (eventually, maybe, one day) or playing at the park, my family will never fully get to appreciate the game room you just spent the better part of a year building anyway. But we will use the brand new, state of the art bathrooms. They are state of the art, right? So thank you.

Last summer when you filled in the old pool I admit I was a little perturbed. And when you said it was going to take two weeks for the ground to settle before you could break ground on a new pool I was even more confused. And when those two weeks turned out to be more like two months I finally just assumed you know what you were doing because I was done trying to figure it out. And here we are a full year later and you are still working on the pool.

I think.

You built the brand new clubhouse street-side and no one can see what what is going on behind it. So other than the occasional "bang-bang" and a worker popping his head around the corner, you would never know that anything is going on back there. Once upon a time, you said the pool would be ready this June. Well, now it's June you are telling me July so I'm going to start checking my mail box every day for my pool tag information. Unless you want to let everyone in, willy-nilly, which I don't think you should do because I paid my dues to not use my pool last year, and they got to not use the pool for free. I demand preferential treatment when it comes to not using the pool again this year.

So thank you again to my HOA for making decisions for us that I'm sure made sense on paper, but are kinda stupid in reality. And thank you again for the lag in communication. And for making ridiculous promises. And for, well, literally nothing else.

Sincerely,
A Fish Out of Water

Open Letter to my HOA

Dear Settler's Village HOA,

I am so pleased that you decided to remodel our pool so that the families of our community could enjoy a refreshing swim during the hot and humid Texas Summer months. You couldn't have picked a better time of year to do the renovations either. Summer is the perfect time. There are no school kids walking to and from school to get in the way. No buses making a lot of noise. And you know for sure that it won't be too cold to work outside and there is no threat of the pool water freezing.

Not only has JR. D Construction, the company you chose for the remodel, put up a lovely chain link fence around most of our park and two huge construction bins in our tiny parking lot, but their lack of progress is astounding. The steel construction bins add an apocalyptic, yet urban feel to the family park, especially when framed by the primary colors of the playground equipment. I can't help but notice how you have managed to drive away all the riff raff. Who wants kids playing in the park during summer anyway? And your self gratifying sign is just the icing on cake. JR. D Construction truly can do everything, including sucking all the life out a neighborhood park and dragging out a construction project for months on end.

Your trash bins showed up in May. Your chain link fence prohibited access to the swing set in early June. You drained the pool in mid June.Your sign went up in late June. And every day, no matter what time I drive by, walk my dog or take my kids to their friends' houses, the pool remains empty. No workers, no water, and no families enjoying their summer. Congratulations. Truly.

Now, perhaps the materials for the remodel are just not available. I guess that's just poor planning. Or maybe it's just too hot to work during the summer. Sure would've been nice to take a dip in the pool, right? Maybe you have too many projects going on and have spread yourself too thin. Poor planning? Again? Or maybe you are really really thorough and just want to do a good job. OK, I'll buy that, but where are your employees?

As for my HOA, thanks for making me call our management company, PCMI, to get all the information in the first place. When we didn't get the notice for our new pool tags I put in a call to PCMI to make sure my notice didn't get lost in the mail. I love making new friends anyway and the lovely lady on the phone informed me that we were getting a new pool. She was much more excited than I was. And no, no one thought to make a deal with a neighboring neighborhood so we could use their pool. And no, there is no county pool. And no, there is no city pool. But good news! Next year we should be able to use our brand new pool!

So thank you, Settler's Village HOA for the surprise remodel of the pool. I mean, I know we voted on it but I had know idea it was coming so soon. I certainly never would have guessed you would start it when swim season began. My guess would have been to do the remodel during the Spring or even Fall. And thank you for hiring what must surely be the most thorough construction company in the city and county and quite possibly in the state to work on the remodel. I'm positive I will thank you next year when I can take all three of my kids to the pool. Because God knows I can't do it this year.

Sincerely,
A Mom, A Member of the Community, A Wannabe Swimmer

Free Summer 2014

I found out earlier this month that my wonderful neighborhood Home Owners Association has finally decided to remodel our pool. Isn't that great? The problem is, the work is starting now. At the start of swim season. Wasn't that nice of them? If you're like me, and I'm sure many of you are, local attractions (especially free ones) are the ones you need to rely on during the long summer months. So what's a family to do?

In my area, I found two theaters that have kid friendly movie programs for the summer. Carmike Cinemas is offering $4 seats every Thursday at 10 am starting on June 5. The $4 admission includes a small drink and a small popcorn. My particular theater is showing movies like The Lego Movie, Epic, Despicable Me 2, Rio, and The Croods. Check your local theater to see what they are showing this summer. Cinemark is offering ten movies for $5 if you purchase tickets in advance or one movie for $1 at the door. My particular theater is showing films like The Smurfs 2, Turbo, Mr. Peabody and Sherman, and Walking With Dinosaurs. Check your local listings for movies and show times.

How about bowling? Check out kidsbowlfree.com for a list of bowling alleys that are participating in this summer's first ever program to help give kids a fun and safe way to spend the hot summer months. Parents can register with their local bowling alley and give their kids two free games of bowling every day. AMF has had a similar program for the last few years offering three free games to kiddos aged 15 years and younger. So I guess it is just a matter of who is closer to you.

Reading programs are a great way to keep your kids reading this summer and some reading programs help your child earn free books and even some pocket change for their efforts. Barnes & Noble will reward kids ages 6-12 with a free book after they read eight books and turn in their reading journal to participating stores. Feed Your Brain is Half Price Book's summer reading program. Kids 14 and under can add up their reading minutes and turn in a log to earn $5 in bookworm bucks. Sylvan Learning Center has a free, interactive way to encourage kids to read by quizzing them on what they've read and giving them the opportunity to earn prizes in the process. I also you recommend you check out PBS, home of Reading Rainbow, to learn how to raise an enthusiastic reader. I firmly believe in the power of literacy.

And finally, Chuck E. Cheese wants to reward your kids for their good behavior.You can print off and bring in completed chore sheets to participating restaurants for 10 free game tokens.

As always there is the public library, community centers, the beach, bbq's and the ever popular chore list(!) to complete. I have a feeling my yard and house will never be cleaner without that silly pool to distract me this summer. In fact, I may have my kids read up on gardening and redecorating tips to get them started...